


The Path I Walk

by Aria Serif (Mysterie)



Series: Sentinaltale & AUs [26]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Lonliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24665110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterie/pseuds/Aria%20Serif
Summary: A journey of what might have been ...
Series: Sentinaltale & AUs [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726813





	1. Chapter 1

_Sixteen..._  
  
_Seventeen...._  
  
_Eighteen...._  
  
_Nineteen...._  
  
_Twenty..._  
  
_Keep going...._  
  


  
  
  
_Twenty-one..._  
  
_Twenty-two...._  
  
_Twenty-three..._  
  
_Twetny-four..._  
  
_What's the point?_

  
  
  
_Twenty-five...._  
  
_Twenty-six...._  
  
_Twenty-seven...._  
  
_Twenty-eight..._  
  
_Twenty-nine...._  
  
_It hurts._  
  
_They don't care. They never have._

  
  
  
  
_Thirty._  
  
_It was just a dream...._  
  
_Thirty-one...._  
  
_All in my head...._  
  
_Thirty-two...._  
  
_I... made them up..._  
  
_Thirty-three...._

  
  
  
  
The snow seemed endless. A vast whiteness with black barked trees all around. No one ever came this deep. In a world of white, a figure in black seemed to stand out. There was no one else around. Even if there had been, they wouldn't know who they were looking at. 

  
  
_It shouldn't matter...._  
_I... shouldn't care..._  
_I thought I was past this..._  
_I... can't live a lie._  
  


She crumpled beneath the weight. Sobs shaking the form. She knew the truth. It all made sense now.... 

  
  
No one knew who she was. No one took her seriously. Her journey, up until that moment, had been nothing but a dream she had lived out and could no longer do so. It had all been a lie... a world she had created for herself because the truth was too much to bear, because she could not face it. Now, she had no choice. Everything had been ripped away.

  
  
She was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

A cold wind whipped through the trees, ruffling the dark robes that lay in the snow.

  
  
_How long has it been?_ There was no answer forthcoming, there was no sound of anything but the wind through the trees. A pair of purple eyelights stared up at the darkness above. Unable to see the ceiling she knew was there. Where was she? When was she. It didn't matter, she decided. She lay there, like the corpse she was sure she'd resemble to any human who would see her. Not that it mattered. No human ever came. Certainly not this deep into Snowdin Forest. Not even Sans went this deep. The silence of the world hung around her.

  
  
_What is the truth then? When did the truth end and the .... lie ... begin?_ Dim eyelights seemed to disappear as the sockets shrank in a mimic of closing one's eyes. 

  
  
_Can I ... even remember? How far back?_ Images flashed through her mind... Oh. It was then. She remembered now. The fight with Chara... That had almost gone so wrong. 

  
  
_I couldn't even confess then... but... I had thought about it. I had wished for it so much... but... that's when it began... Back near the beginning... I remember now. Inky... I never told you... none of that ever happened... what followed... I... I can remember the truth now. It... it's better this way. It's okay. I don't need you to love me. Just.... be happy, won't you?_ For a moment, she wished she could go back, find him and see that smile once more... but in the next instant the thought was tossed into the wind to blow away with bits of snow.

  
  
He didn't know she was a skeleton monster now, that she was... more or less, alive. He hadn't been there. It didn't matter. _I shouldn't matter..._

  
  
_In time... it won't matter...._


	3. Chapter 3

_"Don't worry! I'm sure they'll be fine! They can handle anything, after all... you trained them."_

_  
  
_No. That was wrong.

  
  
A lie.

  
  
Eye sockets slowly opened. Staring blankly up at the darkness above. Not even the wind stirred. Everything was silent. She hated it. Everything came back and she rolled over, could skeleton monsters become ill without a stomach? It seemed so.... Whatever that stuff was... it wasn't normal vomit that she'd seen as a human, that was for sure. Looked like... ectoplasm? Whatever. Once she was done staining the snow with it she pushed herself up and walked away from the mess that was mixing with the snow. What was she doing here? Why had she come to this place? It was as silent as a tomb. She shuddered, her head throbbed. Right... she'd come here out of instinct.... Classic.... this was the... Alpha Timeline... but... everything was silent because everyone was on the surface. She didn't want to be on the surface though... she didn't want to disrupt their happy lives with the ugly truth that was her now.

  
  
 _I failed so many... why? Why am I still alive?!_ She moved deeper into the woods. Not knowing which direction she was heading, not caring. The sound of a child's laughter in her mind made her stumble and she fell into the snow with a sob. It was just a memory... Something she knew wasn't real though... She didn't have children. She wasn't married or anything like that. 

  
  
_This is... real life... It's not a fairy tale. It's not some story. People like me don't get to experience happiness... we don't live "happily ever after" like those old tales... We just.... exist... suffer...._

_  
  
I never doubted there was a great Creator... but... this is my hell... This has to be hell... After all.. it's what I deserve... right? What I've always deserved.... Even... even if I don't know why._ Snow melted beneath translucent drops that sparkled with silver and purple magic. Why was she alive? Why couldn't she just die? Like she was supposed to?! Was this part of hell? Being "alive" and longing for death that was just out of reach? To not be able to rest? To be forced to watch others have everything that she ever wanted and never had? Never felt? There was no knowing how much time had passed before she collapsed into the snow once more, exhausted from the burden of the truth of her fate.

  
  
_"I don't know what else to do... so... I want to help protect them with you, Inky. I hope you don't mind."_

  
_"Mind? Why would I? I'd love the help! It's a big job honestly." She smiled a bit._

  
_"Well, where do I start then?"_

  
_"Well... why don't I introduce you to each of them first and you can meet everyone!"_

  
_"Great! I can't wait to get started!" He laughed._

  
_"I'm sure they'll love you! C'mon!"_

  
  
Some protector she turned out to be.


	4. Chapter 4

She moved over to a tree and leaned against it. The silence seemed deafening to her, the only sound in the air now was a quiet whimper. A whimper that came from her. She was the only living thing around, it seemed. She wrapped her arms around herself.

  
  
_It was like a dream.... a dream, a fairy tale that I was wrapped up in._

  
  
It seemed so real and yet, there had always been that nagging feeling every once and a while. Now she knew what it was.

  
  
 _And like all dreams.. the dreamer must wake or die. It seems I have... awoken._ Her mind scrambled from the events of her dream to try and figure out what really had taken place. Okay... first off... she remembered climbing out of what had been her resting place; meant to be her final one obviously. There was something else... right. A flower. It had been so beautiful.... she'd left it behind. It was a token of farewell. She had almost taken it, but at the last moment, when she'd reached for it, she had stopped. It didn't seem right to take it. So she had left where it had fallen. She had opened a portal and then... that was it. That was all she'd been doing. Opening one portal after another. Never speaking a word to anyone she met. Not that they knew who she was after she'd decided to dawn a black cloaked hood, much like the grim reaper. There was a musty smell to it, but she had ignored that and taken it anyway. Not like the dumpster was going to miss it. It was a bit big really, but it would do. The sound of a familiar voice had spooked her. She'd quickly opened a portal that had led her here. She slid down, sitting against the tree, one hand over her middle as if ... but she wasn't. The events had never happened. 

  
  
_If they had... she... would have been beautiful...._ Tears streamed down her skull as she felt her soul sink. 

  
  
_I am alone._

_  
  
I will die alone and no one will know. Let me die in my sleep... I was happy there... at least in my dreams... I can be happy... I can... be powerful... I can be... loved. I can have friends and help others... instead of being this weak, useless thing... _She shivered, but it wasn't from the cold.

  
  
_Please... let me go back. I want to be there ... with them... I want to die among them, even if it is only a dream...._


	5. Chapter 5

_God... I'm so pathetic... so useless.... I couldn't even take on Chara... Why am I alive? I should be dead! I shouldn't exist!_

  
  
With a shaking finger she etched out a blade in the snow. It sprang to life. She forced out the strange soul that she knew was her own as she picked up the blade. Staring at the upside down monster heart that held a small heart inside of it. It was almost black in color and cracks marked nearly every part of it like a jigsaw puzzle that would never fit together because of all the small pieces that seemed to be missing.

  
  
_Miserable excuse for a creature... A taint to monster kind!_

  
  
She raised the blade and slammed it down on the soul, crying out with it as the fire shot through her.

  
  
_You don't deserve to exist!_

  
  
Shaking from the pain she raised the blade again, slamming it into the soul. Another cry of pain as it shot through her. 

  
  
_Worthless!_

_  
  
_Over and over...

  
  
_A burden to life itself!_

_  
  
_Blow after blow...

  
  
_You're a mistake! A blight on creation!_

  
  
Tears fell, but she didn't stop. Even as the soul and her body cried out, she still raised the blade for blow after blow... Chipping away at the soul before her.

  
  
_Abomination!_

  
  
It didn't stop, even when her arm had grown tired and her body was screaming in pure agony. She simply changed arms and continued until she simply collapsed in exhaustion.  
  
  
.00000000000000000000000000000000001/.5 


	6. Chapter 6

_They say..._

  
  
Crunch.

  
  
_what doesn't kill you...._

  
  
The snow was as soft as expected.

  
  
_makes you stronger._

  
  
Crunch.  
Crunch.  
Crunch.

  
  
_They aren't always right._

  
  
The snow left behind was stained purple, red and silver.

  
  
_Sometimes... you're worse of than you began._

  
  
She walked until she hit a wall. The end of the forest. The end of the vast cavern that made up the Underground. The wind was silent. Her sobs the only sound as she leaned against the cold stone.

  
  
"Why can't I die?"

  
  
Humans chase after immortality like it's some great prize. 

  
  
"I just... I can't stand this... is this hell? Is my existence to just suffer?" 

  
  
It's not. It's a curse. 

  
  
Especially when everything you knew and loved... was nothing but a lie. When everything you lived for, never even existed at all... 


	7. Chapter 7

The wind tugged at the dark robes of the figure that stood on the hill, below were figures she knew well.... those who might have once been friend... whose names and history she knew like she knew her own name... but they did not know her. She was a stranger to them. Someone who simply watched as they had fun with their friends and family... Something she had maybe known once.

  
  
Once upon a dream? 

  
  
Had she ever really known that feeling or was it just another lie? 

  
  
What was real anymore was hard for her to know. The soft cracking noise that filled her mind at that moment was not a foreign one. She did not flinch, didn't even so much as utter a soft whimper even as pain lanced through what she now was... 

  
  
What was she? 

  
  
She was not human. That had been lost in death, but she was not a monster either... well, no, not _that_ kind anyway. She was a freak. An abomination. An anomaly that should not exist but could not die either. Time held no meaning. Nothing meant anything anymore. There was nothing to be had. Nothing to be gained.

  
  
Only a promise that she had made... or had thought that she had. Maybe that promise was a lie too. Even internal dialogue had abandoned her. There was no thought to be had. No reason for her to think. To move. To do... anything, but the promise... Whether it was real or not, she would not break this promise. 

  
  
Like a ghost in the shadows of night, she slipped away from the happiness and into the endlessness of the multiverse. No one ever knowing she was even there.


	8. Chapter 8

Song filled the cold night air as monsters went about their evening. 

  
  
Cheerful greetings with neighbors. Friends. Family.

  
  
None noticed the figure in the shadows that simply watched. 

  
  
Ever silent like a ghost. Vigilant. 

  
  
Nothing was wrong here.

  
  
No one needed help. 

  
  
No one needed her. 

  
  
No one noticed.

  
  
Not even footprints were left behind in the snow.

  
  
Bittersweet memories. 

  
  
Reminded only of what was once.

  
  
Of what had been lost and could not be regained.

  
  
The bite of the cold not felt. No warmth left to be had as she turned from this world to the next. 


	9. Chapter 9

Quiet.  
  
  
  
  
That was the atmosphere of the place she stood. Had Waterfall always been this quiet? This area? She walked forward towards the pier. A long figure stood at the edge of it, just staring out at the water and yet she knew that this figure was not some one who was often seen; if ever. This figure, the gray tones of the monster, let her know that she had stumbled upon one of _his_ followers. She had not seen them before, but did it matter? She didn't even say anything, but suddenly the other spoke up; as if they know that she was there.

  
  
"Have you ever thought about a world where everything is exactly the same... Except you don't exist?" There was a short pause.

  
  
"Everything functions perfectly without you..."

  
  
Yes, she had thought about it. Countless times. What could she say in the face of such truth? That it seemed that this was her reality? Where what she had thought she had known had been nothing but a dream and a wonderful dream it had been... only, it wasn't reality and she was alone... and the world and everything around her was functioning, as the other had said, just fine without her. To her surprise, however, the figure didn't let the silence sit between them long.

  
  
"Ha, ha... the thought terrifies me." After a long moment of silence she spoke up.

  
  
"Yeah... I understand. To find that everyone and everything you knew was just... a nice thought." The other turned to her.

  
  
"You must be one of us, right?"

  
  
"No. I don't even fit in among you." Was that a look of confusion on the other's face? She couldn't tell. How long had it been since she had spoken to anyone? Her voice, she realized, had been soft and rough from misuse... that's right, she hadn't spoken to anyone in .... well, so long. Not since she had awoken again. It only reminded her of the endless loneliness that she was facing. No friends. No family. Nothing. This was her eternal punishment for trying to do something, but... she could not remember what that something was. In the end, it didn't matter did it? She turned from the figure. She shouldn't be here. She wasn't meant to exist.

  
  
A mistake that could not be erased. A soul that was not meant to live, but did. For no matter how hard she tried, she could not erase herself from this world. From any of them. Time and time again she had been in battle, but she never died. She had deep scars over her form to prove it... she was ugly with them, deep cracks and crevices that littered the bones hidden beneath the cloak. Yes, that was why she wore it... she was too ugly to be seen. She did not want to scare those she met. 

  
  
She was a listless corpse of a skeleton monster that was barely held together. Scars of countless battles, even of attempts to end her own existence. Nothing she did mattered. There was that higher power, somewhere beyond her reach... every time she saved someone it forced her out... and rewrote the event that transpired. Countless suffered for the amusement of the entity beyond and she could do nothing for them... She had raged against them, had tried to fight... had tried anything and everything in desperation... but in the end... it was useless. 

  
  
She moved out of that world. She had given up long ago on doing anything. She did not sleep. She did not eat.

  
  
For what was the point? 

  
  
This was her damnation. 

  
  
A soul forced to watch the torment of others without being able to make a difference.

  
  
This was her hell.


End file.
